What Does Your Festival Tent Say About You?

Giant in tent

Giant in tent

These days there are a thousand different ways to tell what kind of person you are, from star-signs through to those tests you can do on Facebook. Did you know there’s a sure-fire way to tell exactly what kind of personality sits behind your good-looks and charming words? And that’s by checking the type of tent you take to a festival. That’s right, you can save hundreds of pounds on psychology reports, and you’ll never have to read another horoscope again once you’ve checked out our handy guide.

One Man Tent

One man tent


Got a one man survival tent tucked in behind your massive utility rucksack as you traverse the long, mucky road to the festival camp-site? Then you’re the Bear Grylls of the party world. Not content to go foraging for food and berries, you’re more likely to initiate a full site survey looking for a group of people to latch on to, whilst you delicately milk them for a bit of human contact. You’re also the type of person who’s more than likely into spotting rare bands with your binoculars, whilst ticking them off in a book. Still it makes a change from your usual walks round the Lake District and trips pot-holing in Southern Wales.

Tent Suit

Tent suit


If you’re taking a tent suit to your favourite festivals this year then there’s no getting out of it, you’re an unashamed wreck-head. Your party generally starts when you sink a couple of beers on the way to the train and you’ve got a ton of inventive ways to help you sneak a couple of litres of whiskey past security. No doubt you’re tired of waking up in a ditch at 2pm with a suntan down half the side of your face and you can’t have another repeat of that incident last year when you tried to get into a sleeping bag with an old hippy, swearing blind that you’ve definitely got the right tent and they’ve made some terrible mistake. This year you want to sleep where-ever you want to sleep where the whole festival site can be your bed and you can use an empty lager tin for your pillow.

Trampoline Tent

Trampoline tent


Decided on a trampoline tent for this year’s revelry? Then the chances are you’re a non-stop action type who’s always full of beans and is after somewhere to get rid of all that energy when you’ve finally ceased your relentless monster-moves on the dance floor, where some might say your antics were like a red-bull in a china shop. You probably take very few items to a festival as you don’t sleep or wash right the entire time you’re there, so there’s no danger of you messing all your belongings up as you endlessly bump up and down all night. The only problem you ever face is when it’s time to finally come down from your party buzz, and you have to spend the morning after the event pulling your tent out of the deep depression into which it’s been knocked.

Joined Up Tents

Pod tents


If you’re the sort of person who’s taking a special tent that can be joined into a kind of mini-complex with your friends, then might we suggest that you’re the type who’s not really going to a festival just for the music? You’ve probably got half a mind that when John or Jennifer gets wasted with you underneath the moonlight, then they might finally succumb to your endless, understated advances. Either that or you’ll just end up crawling into their section and holding hands again, whilst you talk until the morning light when you’ll finally realise that nothings going to happen.

Floating Tent

Tree tent


Have you splashed out on one of the very latest floating tents, which need to be tethered high above the usual suspects in the trees? If so then may we suggest that you’re also the type who’s brought their iPad to the festival and you’re going to spend most of your time reporting on the different types of welly you’ve seen here on your fashion blog. This is par for the course for you, as you generally tend to float above most social situations with a self satisfied air of aloof above-it-all-ness, and whilst everyone else is getting down and dirty at least you’ll have somewhere quiet where you can trim your facial hair.

Campervan Tent

Campervan tent


Taking a campervan tent with you to a festival this year? Well then we’ve got to say that you’re a dreamer, not a doer. In your ideal world you’d be at Glastonbury with a styled out VW handing cups of herbal tea to the crowds of people who were sitting round your wood burning stove whilst they watch highlights of the event on your satellite TV. However reality is a much more sobering story as you awake at Reading to find some local boys have made off with your rucksack and your shoes are full of piss.

Tents of the Future

Tent in space


In years to come will we even need different types of tent at all? Perhaps the next generation of festival campers may have access to some new kinds of esoteric antigravity technology that will mean they can spend their evenings in a soundproof floating bubble that can also hover over the entire festival site. This may cause some problems for the organisers who might not have the cash to enclose their event with a gigantic bubble – one thing’s for sure however, which is that festivals and campsites are never going to go away.

Main photo via